(Via JasonandTori.com) – Bottling up emotions today leads to bubbling over emotions tomorrow. Repressed emotions lead to the breakdown of relationships. But so does overly expressed emotions. The key is somewhere in the middle where we don’t hold everything in and seeth, but we also don’t spout everything out like a fire hose.
Below are five small steps that can help you deal with your emotions so they will draw you close to the ones you love:
1. Listen to the emotion – it is pointing toward something that needs to be done. Pay attention to it.
2. Label the emotion – don’t identify with it. Name it. Rather than saying, “I’m mad” say, “I feel angry.” This keeps you in control of your identity.
3. Live with the emotion – don’t deny that it’s there or feel guilty about what you’re feeling, accept it. Once you accept it you can properly work through it.
4. Lose the emotion – once you’ve accepted it, don’t hold onto it. Emotions are temporary. If it’s a good emotion don’t expect it to hang around forever. If it’s a negative one let it go and don’t hold onto it.
5. Learn from the emotion – after you’ve calmed yourself down, ask questions like, “what triggered me?” or “What could be the root of why I felt that way?”
Try these today and watch the power of emotion do its thing!
What’s Your Cheez Whiz?
After 15 years of our kids begging for a dog we finally broke down and got one. We’ve already fallen in love with our little “Roo,” but we’ve discovered quickly that unexpected expenses and trips to the doggy doctor are now the new norm.
Yesterday Tori brought her to the vet to get a shot. When she got back I asked her how well little Roo handled the needle.
“She didn’t make a peep,” Tori said. “She didn’t bark one time. The doctor put Cheez Whiz on a little plate and Roo licked away with no clue there was a needle stuck in her leg.”
Our puppy was so caught up in the pleasure of her little treat that it masked the pain of the needle. She may have felt the prick but it had no effect on her.
The same is true in our marriage. If we have enough pleasure built into our relationship it will mask the little pricks we may feel along the way.
Just the other day I said something stupid that Tori just shrugged off as no big deal. Early on in our marriage, however, an off-the-cuff remark like that would have sparked a two-hour conversation.
One of the best ways to build in pleasure to your relationship is to do lots of things that make you laugh together. When you consistently have fun together as a couple the little things that could be painful are blunted by the pleasure of your relationship.
Time to get some Cheez Whiz.
Read more Bible-based advice for marriage and family by Jason and Tori Benham here
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